It is sweeter to wander with the wretched and outcasts than to sit crowned with roses at the banquets of the rich
Elisee Reclus

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Aren't we all just in permanent exile? oh! and love and pain

I've been thinking about this today, and yesterday...and so it goes.

If we aren't at home in our home, aren't we in some sort of exile? It's like an advert i saw that said "BE A TOURIST IN YOUR OWN HOME' (without any sense of it's own miserable plea). I'm not sure of the exile's way out.

I have also been both thinking and feeling about love and what a friend of mine calls 'the mystery of communication between men and women'. In that instance we resolved these problems by not fucking on a second date and by having noodles and beer and revealing with a certain smirk that both of mysteries (hers - not sleeping wondering why i choose to sleep on the couch next door, mine - wondering if i should go down that hard road of flirting to lead to intimacy) were essentially the same thing. Then, this mystery of communication between me and her was not only a beautiful game but was won by both of us. And! the noodles were really great.

But in other realms, and this is a Ruinist word of the decade, in other REALMS, how can one be in love, let someone go and not fight for them. If we believe in honest (and mysterious in a great sense) communication to the best of our human ability. Im stuck with my rational side that lets her go and wishes her well (with someone else) and my emotional side that desires to fight for her. To speak and act as I can at my highest level of truth, to use words to penetrate the damn mysteries, to make manifest the poetry of togetherness and what she calls the 'illusions' of us, by which she means, what dreams we had and have.

Here, The Ruinist can only keep himself posted. And this sure enuff isn't going to be some sort of diary of dismay, dismal diarism.

There are other ponds to negiotiate. This is just a start, If you can be arsed, a tease.


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